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+--- Thread: little story to boost ur morale - remo (/showthread.php?tid=132955)
0 - ArchivalUser - 10-27-2006
It is o.k. remo. Me too was in relax mood. Do not take it seriously. I have respect for u
0 - ArchivalUser - 10-27-2006
thanks ........another one to cheer u up...........
hope nobody feel offended by this
During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners asks the students, one by one, "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" she asked.
"Just a minute, I have to go piss."
The teacher replied, "That would be rude and impolite! What about you Sam, how would you say it?"
"I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back."
The teacher responded, "That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the table. And you Johnny, are you able to use your intelligence for once and show your good manners?"
"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment, I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner.
0 - ArchivalUser - 10-27-2006
It was professor smith's first day at st. Johns
medical college as a
faculty.
Known for his teaching excellence, he made his entry
into a classroom of
1st year medical students, where he received a warm
welcome from the
students, followed by their intro.
To start with, he planned to put forth a question to
the class.
He said, "Well students, before we start off with
today's lecture, let me
ask you a simple question on human anatomy".
He gazed across the classroom, spotted a female
student Suzie, and said,
"Tell me Suzie, which part of the human body grows 10
times its original
size when excited?"
Hearing this question, Suzie's face grew pale in
embarrassment, she
replied:" you should be ashamed to ask such a question
to a female.
I am sorry, but I can't answer your, this question".
Thwarted by the girl's reply, professor smith rolled
on his sight around
the classroom afresh, to find out if there was anyone
else who could
satisfy his query.
This time he located a male student Henry, who had
already raised his hand
in affirmation to answer the question, and allowed the
lad to go ahead.
Henry answered: "pupil of a human eye" The professor
applauded for the
boy's accurate answer; then turned back to Suzie and
said:
"Look, Suzie, I am sorry but, I must tell you a couple
of things:
(1) You lack knowledge
(2) you have a dirty mind and
(3) Your Expectations are too high !!!!!!!(10
times........huh......MYGOD!!)
0 - ArchivalUser - 10-27-2006
The bride tells her husband
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!
0 - ArchivalUser - 10-27-2006
long time since i laughed so much!!!!! thanx remo!!!
0 - ArchivalUser - 10-27-2006
me too after reading the last one i really laughed like crazy....................and thought to share it........
0 - ArchivalUser - 10-27-2006
good ones to laugh ur heart out.
0 - ArchivalUser - 10-27-2006
hahahahaha
dear remo cobra needs some more.........
hissssssssshhhhhhhh
0 - ArchivalUser - 10-27-2006
LOL... and PD should offer u a position.
0 - ArchivalUser - 10-27-2006
Classic Definitions & Cool Meanings:
1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sitto decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails......