01-30-2010, 11:13 AM
For a change, I though it would be interesting to discuss something different in this forum and also probably give information and something to think about for unmarried doctors.
To All Women Doctors: Please pass on this message to all your friends and any women doctors that you know who are thinking of marrying Engineers or IT people.
There are parts of the world where arranged marriages are still common although fast disappearing. So for those, especially women doctors, considering this option here is a word of caution based on the experiences of people very close to me:
I have some friends and relatives (women) who completed their medical school and married Engineers (men) to come to the USA. Of course profession should not matter but in every person I know, it did matter a lot especially when the woman was a doctor and the guy was an engineer.
First of all, MOST engineer men want to marry doctor women for MONEY MONEY MONEY (of course there are some exceptions but very few). Engineers know that they will almost certainly never earn as much as Physicians in the USA or elsewhere. Money is the primary motive for most engineering men to look for a physician wife. Rest are all secondary issues.
On the other hand some women marry engineers thinking that they can dominate them and keep them as slaves but this mostly backfires on them because most men don't let it happen.
In one of my friends' case, her husband slowly started to get jealous and angry because she was earning more than him. And she was more busy than him so he had to take care of kids more often. Eventually he started to harass her and cut down her work hours, then slowly started abusing and asked her to stay home to look after the kids and the house work. Many things happened after this and eventually the marriage ended in a divorce. The guy married some other poor woman.
My friend was lucky enough to find and marry an American physician eventually and is now very happy. She took her kids with her and the American is also so understanding.
Other friends of mine who married Engineers or computer guys are also in very similar situation. I know only 1 couple who seem to be ok in their relationship and in which she dominates the guy. Basically, the guy is happy to sit at home, enjoy life while she works hard to earn the money. In a case like this, I guess the woman has to think whether she wants to feed a lazy loser all her life.
The main problems when Women Physicians marry Engineers or IT men seem to be:
1. The guy marries doctor wife mainly for MONEY and when wife starts earning more than the guy, troubles begin.
2. The man wants to keep the doctor wife under his control so that she will be an obedient servant to him. However, in the modern day and age, women don't care, especially well educated women like a doctor. Troubles begin here also.
3. Engineers/IT men do not understand what is involved and required to be a Doctor and what it takes to get there. Troubles begin.
My analysis:
It is BEST for Women Doctors to marry Doctors or someone within the profession itself because they can understand your profession better than Engineers or IT professionals.
Engineers and IT professionals from certain parts of the world always seem to have an inferiority complex that gets worse once the doctor wife starts earning more than him.
Why does a doctor wife (or husband for that matter) want to feed their lazy husband (or wife)?
Finally, I have seen cases where the Engineer guys attract doctor wives by displaying the GC or the prospect of a GC. The sad part is that I have also seen people getting their J1 visa rejected because husband on H1 applied for GC. Those relations ended in divorce also.
If anyone has any thoughts on this topic, join the discussion here: http://usmleforum.com/showthread.php?tid=480716.php
To All Women Doctors: Please pass on this message to all your friends and any women doctors that you know who are thinking of marrying Engineers or IT people.
There are parts of the world where arranged marriages are still common although fast disappearing. So for those, especially women doctors, considering this option here is a word of caution based on the experiences of people very close to me:
I have some friends and relatives (women) who completed their medical school and married Engineers (men) to come to the USA. Of course profession should not matter but in every person I know, it did matter a lot especially when the woman was a doctor and the guy was an engineer.
First of all, MOST engineer men want to marry doctor women for MONEY MONEY MONEY (of course there are some exceptions but very few). Engineers know that they will almost certainly never earn as much as Physicians in the USA or elsewhere. Money is the primary motive for most engineering men to look for a physician wife. Rest are all secondary issues.
On the other hand some women marry engineers thinking that they can dominate them and keep them as slaves but this mostly backfires on them because most men don't let it happen.
In one of my friends' case, her husband slowly started to get jealous and angry because she was earning more than him. And she was more busy than him so he had to take care of kids more often. Eventually he started to harass her and cut down her work hours, then slowly started abusing and asked her to stay home to look after the kids and the house work. Many things happened after this and eventually the marriage ended in a divorce. The guy married some other poor woman.
My friend was lucky enough to find and marry an American physician eventually and is now very happy. She took her kids with her and the American is also so understanding.
Other friends of mine who married Engineers or computer guys are also in very similar situation. I know only 1 couple who seem to be ok in their relationship and in which she dominates the guy. Basically, the guy is happy to sit at home, enjoy life while she works hard to earn the money. In a case like this, I guess the woman has to think whether she wants to feed a lazy loser all her life.
The main problems when Women Physicians marry Engineers or IT men seem to be:
1. The guy marries doctor wife mainly for MONEY and when wife starts earning more than the guy, troubles begin.
2. The man wants to keep the doctor wife under his control so that she will be an obedient servant to him. However, in the modern day and age, women don't care, especially well educated women like a doctor. Troubles begin here also.
3. Engineers/IT men do not understand what is involved and required to be a Doctor and what it takes to get there. Troubles begin.
My analysis:
It is BEST for Women Doctors to marry Doctors or someone within the profession itself because they can understand your profession better than Engineers or IT professionals.
Engineers and IT professionals from certain parts of the world always seem to have an inferiority complex that gets worse once the doctor wife starts earning more than him.
Why does a doctor wife (or husband for that matter) want to feed their lazy husband (or wife)?
Finally, I have seen cases where the Engineer guys attract doctor wives by displaying the GC or the prospect of a GC. The sad part is that I have also seen people getting their J1 visa rejected because husband on H1 applied for GC. Those relations ended in divorce also.
If anyone has any thoughts on this topic, join the discussion here: http://usmleforum.com/showthread.php?tid=480716.php
i would like to know the reason behind ur post . interesting