02-25-2010, 07:13 AM
PART-2: THE GOD ENCOUNTER
(.CONTINUED AFTER PART-I POSTED YESTERDAY)
˜™Hey dude, can™t you just introduce me to the Governor?™™
˜™I told you, I don™t want to lose my job. I can just take you to him, and then I am off! He gets very upset if bothered in the middle of a song and dance sequence!™™
˜™Hey, what kind of God is he who watches Bollywood movies?™™
˜™You™ll see! Follow me.™™
The duo reaches the impressive God™s mansion with a big black door bolted from inside. Very loud Hindi music was being played inside, clearly audible from within a mile™s radius!
Gate-keeper clearly looks very pale and frightened! And said, ˜™ Just what I was afraid of! It is a song and dance sequence!™™
˜™Damn your song and dance; just knock on the door™™, said the impatient Pakistani!
˜™Knock.Knock.™™ gate keeper thumps on the door with shaky hands.
˜™Who the fukk is that?™™, replied a very pissed off voice from inside!
˜™It™s me sire, your gate-keeper not my fault sire a man wants to see you™™
˜™Jackass! How many times I have to tell you not to disturb me in the middle of a song and dance sequence? Get the fukk outta here! You are fired!™™, the angry voice came from inside!
The gate keeper vanishes immediately without saying another word!
The door opens. A clean shaven man of somewhat diminuted stature appears from inside! He looked utterly pissed off and Said in a very rude voice, ˜™ What the fukk do you want?™™
˜™I am here to see God!™, said the Pakistani.
˜™Tell me™™, said the little man.
I can only tell God himself! Not to one of his ˜chamchas™ (sycophants)!
˜™Fukkhead! I am God! Tell me.™™
˜™Get outta here. You are clean shaven. You watch Bollywood movies!! You utter obscenities. And you are four feet tall. How can you be God?™™
˜™Well! I am big and I am small; I am one and I am many; I am the light, I am the darkness, and I am beyond all that; I am the knower and I am the known..™™
˜™Cut the crap! You are just a smooth talker like Mr. Zardari! No wonder you made it this far! You have become the chamcha of God himself™™
˜™I am God! Will you believe me if I tell you about the embarrassing medical condition you suffer from?™™
Pakistani man looks confused now! ˜™How do you know that?™™
˜™It™s my job to know things. I know everything! You suffer from a condition called Dickus Parvus et Tardus! And I also know that you come from a family of premature ejaculators!!™™
˜™In Urdu please, boss!™™
˜™You have a tiny, malfunctioning dick! And I also know that you never saw a doctor!™™
˜™Well, my Lord! All doctors in Pakistan have joined our Jihadi cause. Nobody practices medicine anymore. A few cowards who refused to join our great Jihadi cause have fled the country to write USMLEs in a far away infidel land.™™
˜™Now you see why I didn™t give you virgins? I know it all. You have no need for them™™
˜™Gov™n™r, please don™t tell my Jihadi colleagues! I™ll be very embarrassed in front of them. I™ll commit suicide!™™
˜™Knobhead, you are already dead! How can you commit suicide? You can™t be dead twice!™™
˜™I™ll not tell anybody! But you have no reason to feel embarrassed. Most of them suffer from the same condition. There is an epidemic in Pakistan these days since Kargil war!™™
Pakistani man looked relieved!
˜™You believe me now?™™, asked the little man.
˜™Well, sir, I mean your majesty, but sir.. you are four feet tall! You look like a Bangladeshi !™™
˜™Well, I told you. I am a Bangladeshi for Bangladeshis, Indian for Indians™™
˜™What????????? You are an Indian? Why there has to be an Indian everywhere? Everything is made in China nowadays, even Pakistani flag is printed in China these days; why God had to be made in India?™™
˜™Chinese don™t manufacture God, that™s why!™™
˜™I knew it! I knew it from the beginning! I™ve been betrayed. No virgins, an Indian God, I hate this place.™™
˜™I™m afraid you are a prisoner in heaven now. There is no way out™™, said God!
Now he breaks down completely. Starts to run like an Olympian, uttering ˜™ I want to be back to Pakistan™™ like a maniac! He paused for a moment, thought somebody was following him. He looked back in horror to find the old lady was following him, hardly able to catch her breath due to unaccustomed exertions. Now she said, ˜™ Take me with you, honey! I am also tired of this place! I don™t mind your small you know what?! I™ve never slept with a man in my life!™™
The Poor man just had too much of heaven! He hits the ground like a dead log!
(.CONTINUED AFTER PART-I POSTED YESTERDAY)
˜™Hey dude, can™t you just introduce me to the Governor?™™
˜™I told you, I don™t want to lose my job. I can just take you to him, and then I am off! He gets very upset if bothered in the middle of a song and dance sequence!™™
˜™Hey, what kind of God is he who watches Bollywood movies?™™
˜™You™ll see! Follow me.™™
The duo reaches the impressive God™s mansion with a big black door bolted from inside. Very loud Hindi music was being played inside, clearly audible from within a mile™s radius!
Gate-keeper clearly looks very pale and frightened! And said, ˜™ Just what I was afraid of! It is a song and dance sequence!™™
˜™Damn your song and dance; just knock on the door™™, said the impatient Pakistani!
˜™Knock.Knock.™™ gate keeper thumps on the door with shaky hands.
˜™Who the fukk is that?™™, replied a very pissed off voice from inside!
˜™It™s me sire, your gate-keeper not my fault sire a man wants to see you™™
˜™Jackass! How many times I have to tell you not to disturb me in the middle of a song and dance sequence? Get the fukk outta here! You are fired!™™, the angry voice came from inside!
The gate keeper vanishes immediately without saying another word!
The door opens. A clean shaven man of somewhat diminuted stature appears from inside! He looked utterly pissed off and Said in a very rude voice, ˜™ What the fukk do you want?™™
˜™I am here to see God!™, said the Pakistani.
˜™Tell me™™, said the little man.
I can only tell God himself! Not to one of his ˜chamchas™ (sycophants)!
˜™Fukkhead! I am God! Tell me.™™
˜™Get outta here. You are clean shaven. You watch Bollywood movies!! You utter obscenities. And you are four feet tall. How can you be God?™™
˜™Well! I am big and I am small; I am one and I am many; I am the light, I am the darkness, and I am beyond all that; I am the knower and I am the known..™™
˜™Cut the crap! You are just a smooth talker like Mr. Zardari! No wonder you made it this far! You have become the chamcha of God himself™™
˜™I am God! Will you believe me if I tell you about the embarrassing medical condition you suffer from?™™
Pakistani man looks confused now! ˜™How do you know that?™™
˜™It™s my job to know things. I know everything! You suffer from a condition called Dickus Parvus et Tardus! And I also know that you come from a family of premature ejaculators!!™™
˜™In Urdu please, boss!™™
˜™You have a tiny, malfunctioning dick! And I also know that you never saw a doctor!™™
˜™Well, my Lord! All doctors in Pakistan have joined our Jihadi cause. Nobody practices medicine anymore. A few cowards who refused to join our great Jihadi cause have fled the country to write USMLEs in a far away infidel land.™™
˜™Now you see why I didn™t give you virgins? I know it all. You have no need for them™™
˜™Gov™n™r, please don™t tell my Jihadi colleagues! I™ll be very embarrassed in front of them. I™ll commit suicide!™™
˜™Knobhead, you are already dead! How can you commit suicide? You can™t be dead twice!™™
˜™I™ll not tell anybody! But you have no reason to feel embarrassed. Most of them suffer from the same condition. There is an epidemic in Pakistan these days since Kargil war!™™
Pakistani man looked relieved!
˜™You believe me now?™™, asked the little man.
˜™Well, sir, I mean your majesty, but sir.. you are four feet tall! You look like a Bangladeshi !™™
˜™Well, I told you. I am a Bangladeshi for Bangladeshis, Indian for Indians™™
˜™What????????? You are an Indian? Why there has to be an Indian everywhere? Everything is made in China nowadays, even Pakistani flag is printed in China these days; why God had to be made in India?™™
˜™Chinese don™t manufacture God, that™s why!™™
˜™I knew it! I knew it from the beginning! I™ve been betrayed. No virgins, an Indian God, I hate this place.™™
˜™I™m afraid you are a prisoner in heaven now. There is no way out™™, said God!
Now he breaks down completely. Starts to run like an Olympian, uttering ˜™ I want to be back to Pakistan™™ like a maniac! He paused for a moment, thought somebody was following him. He looked back in horror to find the old lady was following him, hardly able to catch her breath due to unaccustomed exertions. Now she said, ˜™ Take me with you, honey! I am also tired of this place! I don™t mind your small you know what?! I™ve never slept with a man in my life!™™
The Poor man just had too much of heaven! He hits the ground like a dead log!