time is running - nandini@

[ArchivalUser]

hi friends,

i am 28 years.. old female got married when i was 26yrs came to us when i was 27yrs..

i have a very different situation - i am trying to do this step 1 since more than a year.. and scores are not satisfatory for me still.

in this case to add to my diificulty - i became aware that i am pregnant just now..!!!!
i dont want to stay all my life as housemaker.
my husband also doent want me to be a house wife, he wants me to be independent by earning money!!

i am thinking of putting an end to this pregnancy.. but i have no other choice .
if i countinue with this pregnancy , htere is nobody to help us hear in us moreover my studies will be very slow once the baby is born.!!

i cannot manage both i know myself..
i am still not ready for this.. preganancy..

if i get abortion done now then it will be my second abortion and i was in a similar situation before too..!!

please dont sit judging me.. advice me the right path.
i want to join residency... - my dream...


thank you god bless all

[ArchivalUser]

I understand your situation. In my opinion don't go for abortion. First trimaster will be tough for you second trimaster you can study and do other thing like a regular person. I am telling this coz you said this will be your second abortion. To me I can build my carrier sometime( for you may be 1 year later) but I will love to have a baby as this is a gift of God. Look out your surrounding there are lots of couple trying to have a baby on their own but failed.

Once you get into residency you wont have time for having a baby. So this is the best time while you are preparing for your step you can give birth and raise a baby.

For your prep, after 1 year of prep if you feel you are not prepared I will suggest you to review and analysis the materials you have used so far and your strategy of studies. Take your time and set up a dead line to finish your exams. If possible join kaplan. If you dont know how to study, you can continue studying your whole life.

I dont know if i was harsh . But This is what I felt I just told you. Rest is up to you becoz this is your life you have to decide. Good luck from my bottom of heart.

[ArchivalUser]

hi nandini,with due apologies to gucci....like millions of us u are also a career oriented female so there is nothing abnormal about it.if i were u i would concentrate on my career first.let us focus on important stuff first.since u are reading from a year ,give yourself 2 more months set a dead line and no matter what, make up your mind about giving exams on the date.dont ever think about failing.give nbme every week assess and read only the weak subjects do uw,fa.u will notice that the fear will automatically raise your score.since i have been in the same boat ,i kno till we get ovr these exams there is no life(ideally we shud not let these affect personal life but ....)dont stress out on exam day just take out the pressure of getting 99,the best thing about america is there are many more factors than just your scores to acheive your dream .you can look out for that option once your done with all your exams just give your best.
now about your pregnancy,i think pregncy and child birth require a lot of planning,and you can enjoy it only when u are calm ,not under stress,not worried about the future.....its ideal to become a mom when u are looking forward to become a mom.otherwise it could be a lot of stress both to mother and the baby,living in a foreign country ,with noone around to support and when we are not working and economic situations being tough,.....i definately understand your panic..and after being educated as a doctor,no one wants to stay all life as a home maker.i have just told u my honest opinion.rest is left to u to decide

[ArchivalUser]

Hi nandini, one thing is preparation require lots of time, and yes it will be hard to do both. Again there will be no perfect situation for step 1, being a wife also, so many job responsibilities, cooking, cleaning, moping,etc. One thing is no one can decide for you, so, follow your inner voice. But remember, if u decide to be a mom and examinee, you have to be hyperactive, and cant afford to waste time, and no matter whether u can have enough rest or not, u have to study, if you can clear step1 before baby is born, thats little better than having the baby and study. I think if atleast step1 was over, then it would be easier. I have seen some mom did that, but again they are hyperactive, and honestly I dont think I could do that. Thank God, I didnt have that decision to make, its a tough call( for me, because i am older than you, clock is ticking for me). All the best!

[ArchivalUser]

hi friends,

thank you all for ur inputs.. advice.

the first time i became pregnant was when i was 26 yrs that is immediately after marriage.
i had to terminate the pregnany because of medical reason.
i had no plans for termination that time as i had not decided to go for usmle exams then...

but now the situation is different. i want to do usmle becuase my husband is able financially fulful the needs if we go for pregnancy..
he is a good person but pregnancy will put him under lot of pressure and he will not share much he will suffer by himself . i dont want others to get troubled by me.
i dont have any relatives here in us who can help us.. cannot affored to call others because it will financially difficult for my husband..

above this i am a average student and still struggling with step1. i am not a very self diciplined and well organised person . my main aim is not to be burden on others..

but if i go for this pregnancy i dont know how i will manage everything ...

please friends i consider this forum as my extended family so.. i shared delicate issue with u.

with so.. many people advicing not to go for abortion , i also decided not to go for it.
i will go with the pregnancy...

friends... do please pray for me and my baby..
i really need your blessings at this point of my life
i dont know how much justice i will do to my career family and to my child... !!
pray for me.. please....

thank you all
god bless you all with success.

nandini.xxz

[ArchivalUser]

if you want to take the exam durring pregnacy, my adivice is taking it in the second trimester, after that, sitting in front of a computer with big belly for a long time is quite uncomfortable!!
best wishes!!