03-17-2015, 07:15 PM
I am writing on the forum for the first time. This post is to give hope to all old img’s with low scores and multiple attempts. The journey is tough but not impossible for us. Trust God and keeping working; working hard every day towards your goal.
I graduated in 2003. It has been a more than a decade long rollercoaster ride. A ride in which a lot of emotions (high hopes/ big disappointments), time, efforts, and money are invested. This one email paid it all - “Congratulations - You have matched”. God finally made the miracle happen for me yesterday. My story, as all of us here, is full of struggles and failures. My profile is not stellar compared with majority of forum members: Step 1 (192, 4th attempt), Step 2 (199, 1st attempt), Step 2 CS (1st attempt), Step 3 (193, 2nd Attempt); MPH (health care organization and policy) from a very reputed university; 2 US externships (IM and psy); 8 US observerships (IM and psy); 2 US voluntary clinical experiences (majority of clinical experiences came after 2008); 11 publications (most of them as first author, mostly clinical); 1 oral and 2 poster presentations in US; working as research associate at hospital for almost 4 years now but our hospital do not have it’s own residency program; 5 very strong LOR’S –I gave one of them in person during the interview and also 3 were from the faculty of the same program I have matched; need VISA.
I came to United States in 2006 on F1 VISA, completed my MPH and step 1 and step2 CS by 2008. Went back to India, came back on F2 VISA, cleared Step 2 and 3 by 2009. Step one was the biggest huddle (almost like a sin) in my application; no matter what I did it seemed programs would doubt if I could clear my boards. During 2009, I did one observership in NY; the program offered me my only interview but on March 2010 I did not match. I was unemployed for 2 years now; had huge debt from MPH tuition, USMLE board/ application fees, and additional living expense (rent and commute) plus airfare during 2 observerships. I had 6 credit cards, banks cancelled 5 of them by this time. I started receiving calls/letters from debt collectors. I had socially isolated myself, had deleted my social accounts, and had broken all contacts from my friends for 2 years now. Match day was heartbreaking, me and my wife both cried, applied for SOAP and then I gather myself and walked to nearby local regional hospital and nearby a local private clinic with a printout of my CV in my hand, broken heart, and a very confused state of mind. Clinic people clearly said that they cannot help me. When I went to hospital, I had no clue whom to talk to and exactly what to say. I had tried multiple times to contact the hospital authorities via email in the past. I never got any reply back. I went to the receptionist and explained that I wanted to shadow any physician and asked her the possibility. She seemed a little confused and said that there is no such provision in that hospital. As I was coming out, I saw an Indian physician and I hesitatingly approached him. I quickly explained to him my position, gave him my CV, and requested for guidance. He asked me to come later during the day when he had some free time. He was empathetic and agreed to let me shadow him. Gradually he introduced me other doctors (cardio, pulmo, and psy), everyone encouraged me to keep trying hard. They shared their stories of hardships. It was reassuring and I thought one day I can get to their position. We published several interesting cases that we saw during my rotations. I had little to no experience of scientific writing. My wife and her university resources helped me a lot with my first few case reports. Also, my mentors told me to approach an IM program in nearby city. I was lucky to get my one month externship with the program that offered residency. Local church people helped me find a free accommodation in that area and also made temporary arrangement for a bike. I did everything to prove myself. The university had it’s own journal. I submitted 2 case reports in that particular journal by end of the month. I knew I got a strong LOR. The attending was not involved in the selection process but assured that he will put a word forward for me. I had not wasted a day since last match, had strong LOR’s, had several publications and significant clinical experience since last time. I was hopeful. Well, I received only one interview from the program I did externship from. The interview went well and they told they will rank me high. But again, the match day was devastating. I was clueless and hopeless. My wife sat on the floor and cried her heart out loud. I just hugged her tight, cried with her and kept saying ‘I am sorry’ again and again. We knew now the chances to match for me were near zero. I had done everything I could, I felt helpless with my USMLE scores. We were living off her GRA stipend, most of which went towards investing this process and some in her tuition. We were hardly able to make our ends meet. Being unemployed was the hardest part and it hit hard on me every match day. I so wanted to work at a gas station and get home some dollars but my wife insisted me to just focus on getting residency. She stressed that apart from being illegal for my VISA, some extra dollars is not worth the precious time invested at this point and that this phase shall pass. She helped me write my PS, kept sending observership request emails everyday to hospitals across US, searched programs that matched my profile, and even reviewed biostats part of the course with me. I called her my spinal cord and I saw it breaking that day. I called and told my mentors about the results and asked them to guide me further. They actually came home in the evening and gave us the much needed moral support. Few days later, they invited us to one of the doctor’s home. They all tried to find different options for me. One of Australian doctors was ready to support my application if I wanted to apply for Australian residency. Going back to India as a failure was a tough choice. It was like starting from scratch, getting into MD is not easy in India. Moreover, my colleagues were flourishing by that time; some students who came to me for seeking MBBS entrance exam advice were done with degree. I felt so behind in the race. I continued Psychiatry observership during this time. All doctors advised me to stick to one field and work on it hard. I decided to stick with psychiatry. I managed to get my application in for Psy externships immediately after the results (deadlines were really close). I received an interview call from Brookdale. Unfortunately, I was not offered the position. Meanwhile, in March my mom (a single parent) was diagnosed with meningioma. All her doctor son could do was to borrow some money and send home for the surgery. That was the lowest point in my life; I decided to quit, accept failure, and go home. I started exploring options in India and was ready to pack and go back. I got her reports and discussed it with my mentors and their colleagues. I talked with her doctor in India. Everyone assured that her prognosis was good. Within weeks of diagnosis, her surgery was successfully performed with my younger brother by her side. I was still torn apart about my decision. I felt like a complete failure, had developed psoriasis and diabetes by this time. One day my friend who was travelling to nearby city for some work asked me if I would like to come along just for company sake. I said yes and thought I would drop my CV to some hospitals; not expecting much though. We had time to go to only one hospital. I asked receptionist if hospital has any observership/clinical research positions. The hospital did not allow observerships but they had a research unit. I requested if I could talk to the head. Fortunately, she checked and the unit head had some time to talk with me. I explained that I was looking for a paid / unpaid clinical research position. He took my CV and asked me to follow up within a month. One fine day I received a phone call from one of the places I had applied for externship in DC several weeks back. After several calls and email communications, I got a 6 month psy externship. I thought it could be a turning point. I immediately accepted it. I was 3 months into my externship when I received an email that there was paid research position available in the hospital, I had left my CV but they wanted me to join immediately. I was desperate to earn some money so I decided to leave my externship midway. After almost 3 long years I had a job in hand. For the first time after coming to US post marriage, on our 3rd marriage anniversary we picked our first $12 meal from a restaurant. I still remember my first paycheck; my wife had gone to India for my brother’s wedding. I send it all to India and it felt awesome. I was on H1B VISA now. The match season had begun and I did not receive a single psy interview despite 1 psy observership and one externship (3 strong psy LOR’s); however I did receive an IM interview from the same program I interviewed last year. Interview went well and they said that they ranked me last time but apparently it did not work. Hopes were there but Match day was the same story. We cried a bit and as always I hugged my wife and asked her to keep the trust and promised (again) that I will pull it off one day. She said that I was her hero regardless of these results. It was strange that it did not affect us so bad this time, maybe we were immune to it by now or may be because I had started earning and knew that it was now possible to continue this fight until I won.
I wanted to continue in psy. Fortunately, we were dealing with substance abuse patients in our research. After some time the patients specifically asked for me. It felt nice to be in direct patient contact independently after ages. I had tried many times to approach several docs working at the same hospital I am working, for an observership but the hospital policies did not allow that. I remember going to that psy dept. floor several times in hope of any random opportunity to strike. I simply loved the environment. Every time I saw psy residents I wondered what difference was there between me and them. I was job bound now and could not go to other places for clinical experience. One day there was only one resident (Indian) in the hallway. I approached him and told him my position and asked him if I could anyway get clinical exposure here or nearby places. He suggested nearby university hospital and told me specific attending to approach and gave me her email. I had previously tried to go to that hospital before but one has to have an appointment to enter the hospital. I emailed and with God’s grace got an appointment. After half an hour interview she agreed to allow me to shadow her. I started shadowing her for twice a week just for morning rounds. She would test my knowledge every time (could be because my step 1). I read a lot and did everything I could. Residents started supporting me after some time. They gave me opportunities to present their cases in front of her. One time, they talked a way for me to present in the grand rounds. I did not want to be another observer that leaves with one good LOR. I needed to stand out and present myself as strong potential candidate. This was a wonderful opportunity. The presentation went well. I continued to publish cases with the residents and more faculty members. My attending was convinced that I deserved a position. She gave me a very strong LOR. This time I was really hopeful. Well, this match day (4th) was no different; same heartbreaking email followed by tears, hugs, re-assurances, and promises to fight back together. I met her and she looked equally disappointed. She did clearly say that she wanted me in the program and wanted me to continue if I could and I did (2-3 times a week-morning rounds). She got me involved with other faculty members in inpatient psy. They were also convinced that I had a potential to become a great resident. Meanwhile, they told me to get some IM clinical experience too if possible. I took 1 month off from work and did IM observership in renowned hospital. I kept asking them what else I could do to increase my chances. Residents were helping me wholeheartedly. We all did a poster presentation, continued to publish cases. American colleagues revised my PS. They put a word forward to the program director. I continued there till the match day. This was my 5th match and I thought that there were multiple faculty and residents supporting my application. I was so hopeful, actually almost sure that this will be my year, also for the first time I had 2 interviews. But the results were no different. I went and met the 3 faculty members that were supporting me. They said they could not believe that I did not match. I was told that I just missed it. I was in complete disbelief. This time it had hit hard and we were again thinking if match would ever happen for us. My work place employees started stressing again that I should re-divert my efforts and that it was not an img friendly program, although I never felt this way. I thought of giving it a last shot with all my aggression. This was my only option; I knew my application will never be screened until I show program my dedication. I had put in 2 years to make them believe in me and also I was job bound. My research boss wanted to close the lab due to his and her wife health issues. He kindly agreed to keep the lab running for one more year and allowed me morning time off every day if I was able to compensate it later on during the day or the weekend. I could not be more thankful to him ever. I immediately started shadowing majority of the psy faculty in the program. This was my third year rotating in the program all year around, I literally knew everyone from janitor, nurses, residents, faculty-clinical and research. I met the program director, acknowledged my shortcoming and asked what I could do more to bridge them. I was told last year to get IM experience and I did that, I tried to do everything possible to prove myself. She once again brought up Step one. I told her that I cannot change my step one but I will try to prove my clinical knowledge to the program. I insisted faculty to take mock PRITE exams that they take for their current residents. One of the faculty actually made me through it. He said that they could vouch that my clinical knowledge was at par with their current residents. I went to morning rounds everyday from 7.00am to about 10.00 am and came to office by around 10.30am for the entire year (until last week). I had written a review paper by now, we kept working on their research projects simultaneously. I wanted to give whatever I had this time. Once a visiting faculty asked me how long I plan to continue observing (like my duration of observership), I told him until the program gets me in as a resident. I had no plans on quitting this place. This was my only interview and it went extremely well. I could tell the faculty and residents connected with me and wanted me in the program. I knew atleast 10-15 residents includes all chiefs that had send emails or had personally recommended me to the program director. Later on residents told me that when they approached the PD and said they would like to recommend a candidate, she said she can guess who they were talking about J. I knew two faculty members took the effort to write special letters for me to the program director apart from the LOR’s (off course on my request for putting a word forward towards January end). Regarding the committee meeting, I heard rumors that I application was strongly supported. Despite, all this support deep inside there was so much fear of not matching. Out of last 5 matches, I was told 4 times that I was ranked high and I never matched.
THE DAY: I received good luck messages from few current and a couple of residents who had earlier graduated. I reached office; anxiety was creeping in so I took a walk in nearby area from almost to 9.00am to 10.20 am. I wanted to keep a positive state of mind so I remembered all the positive things- assuring words of residents and faculty members, all the support I have, everything that happened since the last match (although there was a fear in the back of my mind- I was never good with luck and had no job if I did not match) ….came back to office… read a thread about ‘having a feeling that we might not match’ on USMLE forum… anxiety creeped in again…. Went out and started talking to colleagues to get my mind off the negative thoughts…. Came back to office at 10.50am …. Opened up my gmail and started praying ( I prayed to God that you has looked at my hardwork, my journey and I trust you and I know you will definitely give me results when the right time comes….. I just trust you ….I was expecting the results at 10.55am…. at this time my prayers somehow shifted to God please please please send me the congratulations Match email …please God please (hahahaha) ….. And then the fateful email came in at 10.57am. ...I HAD MATCHED…. I was blank-no tears, no thoughts, missed a few heartbeats and breaths and then there was big sigh of relief with a thought “Finally…thank you God”. My head felt so light and calm. I wife although, she cried her heart out loud for the second time after seeing the email in her office. Her confused colleagues got her a chair and some water to calm her down. Thankfully, this time these were ‘happy’ and ‘we did it’ tears. All my work colleagues were super happy to hear the news, some of them had tears in their eyes (they just knew my struggle), many of them reminded of all the things I said I will do with them after residency (was a big list, it was like I will do everything after getting residency)…after this I picked my wife up from her office and went home, hugged her and promised “no more tears”, then we called our parents in India (they could not sleep back out of happiness and relief) … I called and messaged many residents (several had messaged me asking about the results) … we went out for lunch but did not feel hungry at all so just had some drinks and sweets … I dropped back her to her office since she had some urgent submission and came back to office …. It felt like battle conquered or life’s mission accomplished … in the evening, we went to temple and then out for dinner … the sunset never looked so pretty, everything about yesterday’s evening was perfect like never before. I will surely remember March 16th, 2015 for my lifetime.
I did not realize that I wrote such a big note, sorry about this. I have met the most wonderful people in this world (today my office mates organized a surprise potluck to celebrate my successJ)… I cannot ask for more…. Just thank God for this life, wonderful people (my family, friends, and mentors), and all the opportunities that He brings to my life. I do not want to disclose the name of the program at this point. I look forward to go home (India) proudly after almost 7 years.
This is the first time I have looked back to my journey and so many random memories crossed my mind today. To all img’s with low scores and multiple attempts, please do not give up. Select few programs and somehow prove to them that you are an equally strong candidate. You have to make your presence felt through you hard work and keep the faith in God alive (I know it may feel sometimes that God is unfair but He is watching each one of us). I wish you nothing but good luck.
Many congratulations to those who matched and best wishes to those who were not able to make it this time. Keep up the hard work…u will get there!!
I graduated in 2003. It has been a more than a decade long rollercoaster ride. A ride in which a lot of emotions (high hopes/ big disappointments), time, efforts, and money are invested. This one email paid it all - “Congratulations - You have matched”. God finally made the miracle happen for me yesterday. My story, as all of us here, is full of struggles and failures. My profile is not stellar compared with majority of forum members: Step 1 (192, 4th attempt), Step 2 (199, 1st attempt), Step 2 CS (1st attempt), Step 3 (193, 2nd Attempt); MPH (health care organization and policy) from a very reputed university; 2 US externships (IM and psy); 8 US observerships (IM and psy); 2 US voluntary clinical experiences (majority of clinical experiences came after 2008); 11 publications (most of them as first author, mostly clinical); 1 oral and 2 poster presentations in US; working as research associate at hospital for almost 4 years now but our hospital do not have it’s own residency program; 5 very strong LOR’S –I gave one of them in person during the interview and also 3 were from the faculty of the same program I have matched; need VISA.
I came to United States in 2006 on F1 VISA, completed my MPH and step 1 and step2 CS by 2008. Went back to India, came back on F2 VISA, cleared Step 2 and 3 by 2009. Step one was the biggest huddle (almost like a sin) in my application; no matter what I did it seemed programs would doubt if I could clear my boards. During 2009, I did one observership in NY; the program offered me my only interview but on March 2010 I did not match. I was unemployed for 2 years now; had huge debt from MPH tuition, USMLE board/ application fees, and additional living expense (rent and commute) plus airfare during 2 observerships. I had 6 credit cards, banks cancelled 5 of them by this time. I started receiving calls/letters from debt collectors. I had socially isolated myself, had deleted my social accounts, and had broken all contacts from my friends for 2 years now. Match day was heartbreaking, me and my wife both cried, applied for SOAP and then I gather myself and walked to nearby local regional hospital and nearby a local private clinic with a printout of my CV in my hand, broken heart, and a very confused state of mind. Clinic people clearly said that they cannot help me. When I went to hospital, I had no clue whom to talk to and exactly what to say. I had tried multiple times to contact the hospital authorities via email in the past. I never got any reply back. I went to the receptionist and explained that I wanted to shadow any physician and asked her the possibility. She seemed a little confused and said that there is no such provision in that hospital. As I was coming out, I saw an Indian physician and I hesitatingly approached him. I quickly explained to him my position, gave him my CV, and requested for guidance. He asked me to come later during the day when he had some free time. He was empathetic and agreed to let me shadow him. Gradually he introduced me other doctors (cardio, pulmo, and psy), everyone encouraged me to keep trying hard. They shared their stories of hardships. It was reassuring and I thought one day I can get to their position. We published several interesting cases that we saw during my rotations. I had little to no experience of scientific writing. My wife and her university resources helped me a lot with my first few case reports. Also, my mentors told me to approach an IM program in nearby city. I was lucky to get my one month externship with the program that offered residency. Local church people helped me find a free accommodation in that area and also made temporary arrangement for a bike. I did everything to prove myself. The university had it’s own journal. I submitted 2 case reports in that particular journal by end of the month. I knew I got a strong LOR. The attending was not involved in the selection process but assured that he will put a word forward for me. I had not wasted a day since last match, had strong LOR’s, had several publications and significant clinical experience since last time. I was hopeful. Well, I received only one interview from the program I did externship from. The interview went well and they told they will rank me high. But again, the match day was devastating. I was clueless and hopeless. My wife sat on the floor and cried her heart out loud. I just hugged her tight, cried with her and kept saying ‘I am sorry’ again and again. We knew now the chances to match for me were near zero. I had done everything I could, I felt helpless with my USMLE scores. We were living off her GRA stipend, most of which went towards investing this process and some in her tuition. We were hardly able to make our ends meet. Being unemployed was the hardest part and it hit hard on me every match day. I so wanted to work at a gas station and get home some dollars but my wife insisted me to just focus on getting residency. She stressed that apart from being illegal for my VISA, some extra dollars is not worth the precious time invested at this point and that this phase shall pass. She helped me write my PS, kept sending observership request emails everyday to hospitals across US, searched programs that matched my profile, and even reviewed biostats part of the course with me. I called her my spinal cord and I saw it breaking that day. I called and told my mentors about the results and asked them to guide me further. They actually came home in the evening and gave us the much needed moral support. Few days later, they invited us to one of the doctor’s home. They all tried to find different options for me. One of Australian doctors was ready to support my application if I wanted to apply for Australian residency. Going back to India as a failure was a tough choice. It was like starting from scratch, getting into MD is not easy in India. Moreover, my colleagues were flourishing by that time; some students who came to me for seeking MBBS entrance exam advice were done with degree. I felt so behind in the race. I continued Psychiatry observership during this time. All doctors advised me to stick to one field and work on it hard. I decided to stick with psychiatry. I managed to get my application in for Psy externships immediately after the results (deadlines were really close). I received an interview call from Brookdale. Unfortunately, I was not offered the position. Meanwhile, in March my mom (a single parent) was diagnosed with meningioma. All her doctor son could do was to borrow some money and send home for the surgery. That was the lowest point in my life; I decided to quit, accept failure, and go home. I started exploring options in India and was ready to pack and go back. I got her reports and discussed it with my mentors and their colleagues. I talked with her doctor in India. Everyone assured that her prognosis was good. Within weeks of diagnosis, her surgery was successfully performed with my younger brother by her side. I was still torn apart about my decision. I felt like a complete failure, had developed psoriasis and diabetes by this time. One day my friend who was travelling to nearby city for some work asked me if I would like to come along just for company sake. I said yes and thought I would drop my CV to some hospitals; not expecting much though. We had time to go to only one hospital. I asked receptionist if hospital has any observership/clinical research positions. The hospital did not allow observerships but they had a research unit. I requested if I could talk to the head. Fortunately, she checked and the unit head had some time to talk with me. I explained that I was looking for a paid / unpaid clinical research position. He took my CV and asked me to follow up within a month. One fine day I received a phone call from one of the places I had applied for externship in DC several weeks back. After several calls and email communications, I got a 6 month psy externship. I thought it could be a turning point. I immediately accepted it. I was 3 months into my externship when I received an email that there was paid research position available in the hospital, I had left my CV but they wanted me to join immediately. I was desperate to earn some money so I decided to leave my externship midway. After almost 3 long years I had a job in hand. For the first time after coming to US post marriage, on our 3rd marriage anniversary we picked our first $12 meal from a restaurant. I still remember my first paycheck; my wife had gone to India for my brother’s wedding. I send it all to India and it felt awesome. I was on H1B VISA now. The match season had begun and I did not receive a single psy interview despite 1 psy observership and one externship (3 strong psy LOR’s); however I did receive an IM interview from the same program I interviewed last year. Interview went well and they said that they ranked me last time but apparently it did not work. Hopes were there but Match day was the same story. We cried a bit and as always I hugged my wife and asked her to keep the trust and promised (again) that I will pull it off one day. She said that I was her hero regardless of these results. It was strange that it did not affect us so bad this time, maybe we were immune to it by now or may be because I had started earning and knew that it was now possible to continue this fight until I won.
I wanted to continue in psy. Fortunately, we were dealing with substance abuse patients in our research. After some time the patients specifically asked for me. It felt nice to be in direct patient contact independently after ages. I had tried many times to approach several docs working at the same hospital I am working, for an observership but the hospital policies did not allow that. I remember going to that psy dept. floor several times in hope of any random opportunity to strike. I simply loved the environment. Every time I saw psy residents I wondered what difference was there between me and them. I was job bound now and could not go to other places for clinical experience. One day there was only one resident (Indian) in the hallway. I approached him and told him my position and asked him if I could anyway get clinical exposure here or nearby places. He suggested nearby university hospital and told me specific attending to approach and gave me her email. I had previously tried to go to that hospital before but one has to have an appointment to enter the hospital. I emailed and with God’s grace got an appointment. After half an hour interview she agreed to allow me to shadow her. I started shadowing her for twice a week just for morning rounds. She would test my knowledge every time (could be because my step 1). I read a lot and did everything I could. Residents started supporting me after some time. They gave me opportunities to present their cases in front of her. One time, they talked a way for me to present in the grand rounds. I did not want to be another observer that leaves with one good LOR. I needed to stand out and present myself as strong potential candidate. This was a wonderful opportunity. The presentation went well. I continued to publish cases with the residents and more faculty members. My attending was convinced that I deserved a position. She gave me a very strong LOR. This time I was really hopeful. Well, this match day (4th) was no different; same heartbreaking email followed by tears, hugs, re-assurances, and promises to fight back together. I met her and she looked equally disappointed. She did clearly say that she wanted me in the program and wanted me to continue if I could and I did (2-3 times a week-morning rounds). She got me involved with other faculty members in inpatient psy. They were also convinced that I had a potential to become a great resident. Meanwhile, they told me to get some IM clinical experience too if possible. I took 1 month off from work and did IM observership in renowned hospital. I kept asking them what else I could do to increase my chances. Residents were helping me wholeheartedly. We all did a poster presentation, continued to publish cases. American colleagues revised my PS. They put a word forward to the program director. I continued there till the match day. This was my 5th match and I thought that there were multiple faculty and residents supporting my application. I was so hopeful, actually almost sure that this will be my year, also for the first time I had 2 interviews. But the results were no different. I went and met the 3 faculty members that were supporting me. They said they could not believe that I did not match. I was told that I just missed it. I was in complete disbelief. This time it had hit hard and we were again thinking if match would ever happen for us. My work place employees started stressing again that I should re-divert my efforts and that it was not an img friendly program, although I never felt this way. I thought of giving it a last shot with all my aggression. This was my only option; I knew my application will never be screened until I show program my dedication. I had put in 2 years to make them believe in me and also I was job bound. My research boss wanted to close the lab due to his and her wife health issues. He kindly agreed to keep the lab running for one more year and allowed me morning time off every day if I was able to compensate it later on during the day or the weekend. I could not be more thankful to him ever. I immediately started shadowing majority of the psy faculty in the program. This was my third year rotating in the program all year around, I literally knew everyone from janitor, nurses, residents, faculty-clinical and research. I met the program director, acknowledged my shortcoming and asked what I could do more to bridge them. I was told last year to get IM experience and I did that, I tried to do everything possible to prove myself. She once again brought up Step one. I told her that I cannot change my step one but I will try to prove my clinical knowledge to the program. I insisted faculty to take mock PRITE exams that they take for their current residents. One of the faculty actually made me through it. He said that they could vouch that my clinical knowledge was at par with their current residents. I went to morning rounds everyday from 7.00am to about 10.00 am and came to office by around 10.30am for the entire year (until last week). I had written a review paper by now, we kept working on their research projects simultaneously. I wanted to give whatever I had this time. Once a visiting faculty asked me how long I plan to continue observing (like my duration of observership), I told him until the program gets me in as a resident. I had no plans on quitting this place. This was my only interview and it went extremely well. I could tell the faculty and residents connected with me and wanted me in the program. I knew atleast 10-15 residents includes all chiefs that had send emails or had personally recommended me to the program director. Later on residents told me that when they approached the PD and said they would like to recommend a candidate, she said she can guess who they were talking about J. I knew two faculty members took the effort to write special letters for me to the program director apart from the LOR’s (off course on my request for putting a word forward towards January end). Regarding the committee meeting, I heard rumors that I application was strongly supported. Despite, all this support deep inside there was so much fear of not matching. Out of last 5 matches, I was told 4 times that I was ranked high and I never matched.
THE DAY: I received good luck messages from few current and a couple of residents who had earlier graduated. I reached office; anxiety was creeping in so I took a walk in nearby area from almost to 9.00am to 10.20 am. I wanted to keep a positive state of mind so I remembered all the positive things- assuring words of residents and faculty members, all the support I have, everything that happened since the last match (although there was a fear in the back of my mind- I was never good with luck and had no job if I did not match) ….came back to office… read a thread about ‘having a feeling that we might not match’ on USMLE forum… anxiety creeped in again…. Went out and started talking to colleagues to get my mind off the negative thoughts…. Came back to office at 10.50am …. Opened up my gmail and started praying ( I prayed to God that you has looked at my hardwork, my journey and I trust you and I know you will definitely give me results when the right time comes….. I just trust you ….I was expecting the results at 10.55am…. at this time my prayers somehow shifted to God please please please send me the congratulations Match email …please God please (hahahaha) ….. And then the fateful email came in at 10.57am. ...I HAD MATCHED…. I was blank-no tears, no thoughts, missed a few heartbeats and breaths and then there was big sigh of relief with a thought “Finally…thank you God”. My head felt so light and calm. I wife although, she cried her heart out loud for the second time after seeing the email in her office. Her confused colleagues got her a chair and some water to calm her down. Thankfully, this time these were ‘happy’ and ‘we did it’ tears. All my work colleagues were super happy to hear the news, some of them had tears in their eyes (they just knew my struggle), many of them reminded of all the things I said I will do with them after residency (was a big list, it was like I will do everything after getting residency)…after this I picked my wife up from her office and went home, hugged her and promised “no more tears”, then we called our parents in India (they could not sleep back out of happiness and relief) … I called and messaged many residents (several had messaged me asking about the results) … we went out for lunch but did not feel hungry at all so just had some drinks and sweets … I dropped back her to her office since she had some urgent submission and came back to office …. It felt like battle conquered or life’s mission accomplished … in the evening, we went to temple and then out for dinner … the sunset never looked so pretty, everything about yesterday’s evening was perfect like never before. I will surely remember March 16th, 2015 for my lifetime.
I did not realize that I wrote such a big note, sorry about this. I have met the most wonderful people in this world (today my office mates organized a surprise potluck to celebrate my successJ)… I cannot ask for more…. Just thank God for this life, wonderful people (my family, friends, and mentors), and all the opportunities that He brings to my life. I do not want to disclose the name of the program at this point. I look forward to go home (India) proudly after almost 7 years.
This is the first time I have looked back to my journey and so many random memories crossed my mind today. To all img’s with low scores and multiple attempts, please do not give up. Select few programs and somehow prove to them that you are an equally strong candidate. You have to make your presence felt through you hard work and keep the faith in God alive (I know it may feel sometimes that God is unfair but He is watching each one of us). I wish you nothing but good luck.
Many congratulations to those who matched and best wishes to those who were not able to make it this time. Keep up the hard work…u will get there!!
