03-19-2015, 06:51 AM
Hi guys, so most of you who follow this forum know that I did not match this year in my 2nd attempt. Feeling devastated and depressed doesn't seem to describe the range of emotions that I'm feeling, and this feeling I do not wish upon anyone. Especially give how hard each and everyone who participated in the match has worked to even get to this point. I find it difficult to deal with not only that I failed to match and cannot move on with my life, but also I harbor feelings that I've let my family down, my friends down, aunts and uncles and other family members down. It's a horrible feeling to see your friends move on and match, and as much as you wish them well u can't help but to feel that you should have been in the same position, laughing and crying with family as you prepare for the next journey as a resident.
I thought I had good board scores, avg step 1 score, 240+ on step 2 CK (both on 1st attempt), CS pass (2nd attempt) which I know surely killed my application, and I'm also a US citizen and US college graduate. I feel for everyone who is in this same position, questioning what to do next. What research to do, what observerships to do, who to contact, and truth be told it is not as easy as some say. I live on the East Coast and have emailed and contacted so many programs, hospitals, applied for jobs in the area, but to no avail. In order for me to travel out of town for observerships or other opportunities, it will end up costing thousands more, and still no guarantee at the end that it will work out for us. But in the midst of all this confusion and strange mix of feelings, I wanted to share something for all of us in this boat.
In the midst of my feelings and embarrassment that I did not match, I feel a sense of anger. Not anger like to go and hit or assault someone, but a feeling that program directors are controlling our lives and holding us hostage. I feel like I'm a good person, I do well with patients, do well patient notes, and just as my friends I too could do well in residency, but why me? Am I to give up and allow program directors and others on these committees to control my life? I have spent the last 2 years hoping to match, and now I am at the end of my rope. I can't continue year after year to place my future in the hands of program directors, at some point I have to move on. But before I do, my advice to all that are in the same boat as me....do not give up. I will not give up. Failing to match for a 2nd time has been the biggest punch to my stomach and my mind in years, and through this I truly believe GOD is attempting to make me into a better person. I am using this failure to match as motivation I've never felt before. I've registered for Step 3, and will be giving the exam this July, and I am going to work harder than I've ever before. I've sent out applications to a few hospitals to do observerships, and I've even contacted a previous hospital and doctor where I rotated and asked if I may come back to work with him again. At this point I have nothing to lose and absolutely everything to gain.
To everyone reading this, if you are feeling down and depressed and feel like quitting, believe me I am there with you. Having to look at family members and members of the family of your significant other after you didn't match a 2nd time is simply embarrassing. But through this I will continue to fight, and so should you. Do what you have to for the upcoming year that you too are a fighter, that in the face of adversity and program directors and others doubting whether you are a good candidate, that in fact you are. We are doctors, and we didn't get here over night. I challenge everyone who did not match to look deep inside yourselves and continue to fight like myself. Let's show these programs that we too belong. Sometimes through adversity we come out better individuals on the other end, and by GOD we will succeed in matching next year. Good luck to everyone
I thought I had good board scores, avg step 1 score, 240+ on step 2 CK (both on 1st attempt), CS pass (2nd attempt) which I know surely killed my application, and I'm also a US citizen and US college graduate. I feel for everyone who is in this same position, questioning what to do next. What research to do, what observerships to do, who to contact, and truth be told it is not as easy as some say. I live on the East Coast and have emailed and contacted so many programs, hospitals, applied for jobs in the area, but to no avail. In order for me to travel out of town for observerships or other opportunities, it will end up costing thousands more, and still no guarantee at the end that it will work out for us. But in the midst of all this confusion and strange mix of feelings, I wanted to share something for all of us in this boat.
In the midst of my feelings and embarrassment that I did not match, I feel a sense of anger. Not anger like to go and hit or assault someone, but a feeling that program directors are controlling our lives and holding us hostage. I feel like I'm a good person, I do well with patients, do well patient notes, and just as my friends I too could do well in residency, but why me? Am I to give up and allow program directors and others on these committees to control my life? I have spent the last 2 years hoping to match, and now I am at the end of my rope. I can't continue year after year to place my future in the hands of program directors, at some point I have to move on. But before I do, my advice to all that are in the same boat as me....do not give up. I will not give up. Failing to match for a 2nd time has been the biggest punch to my stomach and my mind in years, and through this I truly believe GOD is attempting to make me into a better person. I am using this failure to match as motivation I've never felt before. I've registered for Step 3, and will be giving the exam this July, and I am going to work harder than I've ever before. I've sent out applications to a few hospitals to do observerships, and I've even contacted a previous hospital and doctor where I rotated and asked if I may come back to work with him again. At this point I have nothing to lose and absolutely everything to gain.
To everyone reading this, if you are feeling down and depressed and feel like quitting, believe me I am there with you. Having to look at family members and members of the family of your significant other after you didn't match a 2nd time is simply embarrassing. But through this I will continue to fight, and so should you. Do what you have to for the upcoming year that you too are a fighter, that in the face of adversity and program directors and others doubting whether you are a good candidate, that in fact you are. We are doctors, and we didn't get here over night. I challenge everyone who did not match to look deep inside yourselves and continue to fight like myself. Let's show these programs that we too belong. Sometimes through adversity we come out better individuals on the other end, and by GOD we will succeed in matching next year. Good luck to everyone